zzz..

i'm seriously a failure at socialising..

or maybe in whatever i do..

i know it's wrong to be so negative..

but then who cares?

i just say whatever i like..

i suck suck suck!!

and i hear a voice saying that you only suck when you yourself think so..

bah..

i'm not gonna give a damn about it!!

i don't care what people think of me..

or anything else anymore!!

and i'm going say this..

i will definitely commit sucide if i don't archieve anything after my dad aunt and uncle pass away..

which i'm sure it won't be anytime soon..

whenever i say..

it's better to die early bla bla...

they will nag at me..

what's wrong with dying early?

we will have to die one day..

the only difference is that i won't be living this life to the fullest..

which i now..

don't really give a damn about it..

talk to people..

always ended up irritating that person..

then now wheneve ri talk to someone..

always have a feeling that that person is saying fuck off la..

bah..

take it as i'm thinking too much ba..

but what i'm saying is true..

i trust my feeling more than anything else..

people say about me..

i will try to change..

if i can't..

so be it..

don't give a damn about it..

i live for myself..

not for others!

and why the hell am i talking about this?

i totally have no idea..

it's just that i'm bored..

waiting for my handphone to finish charging..

so i can set alarm and not be late for school tomorrow..

but it's rather impossible for me to be late anyway..

live so near..

wakking up at 715..

if the alarm fails to wake me up..

my aunt will be calling non stop..

if i'm still awake..

she will just come my house and wake me up.....

so let's see..

hikaru no go..

aishiteru baby..

chobitsu..

scapped princess..

getbacker..

hack sign..

hack dusk..

ai yori aoshi..

hunterx hunter..

full metal alchemist..

full metal panic..

peace maker kurogane..

air master..

wolf rain..

yugo..

dear boy..

midori nohibi

dears..

madlax..

shaman king..

saint beast..

onegai twins..

rurounin kenshin..

full moon wo sagashite..

d.n.angel..

so many animes..

but only afew seems nice..

but i just don't have the time to watch..

or rather i choose not to watch it..

i jsut don't know what's on my mind..

i just want to keep typing and typing till the batt is full..

and i can go to sleep..

so i won't be thinking about anything again...

now i heard someone saying..

bakayarou to me..

i have such a wonderful imagination..

and i have an idea of who that voice belongs to..

damnit..

i'm thinking way too much..

just what the hell is wrong with me?

no idea no idea no idea...

anywya i saw aidil in school today!!

for the sec1 orientation thingy..

lol..

bah~!

forget everything!!

oh wait..

if i keep asking myself to forget..

i will definitely not forget it..

argh!!

irritating!!

i

r

r

i

t

a

t

i

n

g

!

fuck off you bastard!

bastard= me..

happy?

ya i heard people cheering..

i'm hearing things every now and then..

next time..

i will be hearing someone saying..

go junhong!

jump down!!

you will be free from everythnig the second you jump down!!

hohoho!

like i will listen to such crap..

if i really want to commit sucide..

i will definitely not jump down the building..

it's so silly..

lie down there..

for everyone to see how horrible you look like after you die..

and i heard someone saying..

you look horrible even when you are alive..

i know it very well myself..

so just stfu..

i'm not going to listen to you..

damnit!!

i'm really crazy!!

damnit damnit damnit!!

i used to say those lunatics are the most blessed people in the world...

cause.

they don't seem to have any worries..

so..

i used to dream of being one too!!

and sometimes i wonder..

how they become this way..

totally have no idea..

maybe after i become one..

i will understand..

but it's all too late..

bah..

i feel like spamming my tag board~!!!

going crazy..

#$%%##%#%#%#

and..

my inner self will say..

spam all you want..

you think things will be able to change after you do that?

no..

of course not..

i know it very well..

don't need you to tell me..

and there's this guy going around..

tagging..

i'm wei ru from nanhua sec bla bla bla..

expelled cause he forced gals to do blowjob on him..

that's so bloody lame..

grow up please..

if you really forced them to do that..

you will be in jail or boy's home now..

and the school will never accept you..

unless the school is mad too..

which i think there's a possiblity..

lol..

i'm seriously crazy!!!

i want to get myself drunk la!!

this year..

i'm not gonna let my dad stop me..

nag at me for drinking like 2-3 cups of red wine..

what the hell la..

i'm not drunk yet lo..

i know what i;m doing!!

i just can't control what i'm saying..

and i keep laughing that time..

isn't that good?

thought you all don't like me going home with a black face?

bah..

no beer please..

it sucks..

i wonder how come adults like it so much...

red wine is hell lot better..

and in television..

they always put people drinking to forget their problems..

will it really works?

maybe for the time being..

you can run away now..

but not forever..

how true...

if i go to sleep now..

i can forget about everything for at least 7 hours..

unless they really want to be so cruel to me..

even make me dreamt of it..

lol..

well..

it's possible..

saw a flashback of me playing the recorder when i'm in primary school..

playing it is a piece of cake to me in the past..

and this is how they grade us for music..

ask us come out and a play a piece using the recorder..

it's like damn easy la..

but of course i got work hard for it la..

i still remember during primary3..

i can't even play a piece properly for the test..

it's damn embarassing la..

in front of whole class..

cannot play

make crappy sound..

so i go practice lo..

and during next year test..

i did it very well..

so if we work hard for something..

we most likely will succeed right?

so why can't i play well on the bari sax?

caus ei never practice?

why i don't want to practice?

cause i lost all motivation..

to do anything..

k i had enough..

i dreamt about falling down the bed..

oh god..

this can never happen..

it's so lame la..

how the hell someone fall off his bed de?

k la..

enoguh of crap..

not gonna charge my hp to full..

bye