I'm pathetic!

The 5th week isn't good at all. Yea.. I'm sicked again. Bet it's due to my younger brother and also from the really crappy weather. I was thinking about resting tomorrow earlier today, but i guess it's better to go. You will never know what the hell will happened when you're not around. After all, it's just 8 to 1pm so i think i can manage it.

And seriously, i'm hating BD even before i start working on it. BD makes me realised something. You don't freaking need to be that capable to get yourself into a group. You freaking need connections. You can be average at doing everything or maybe worst but if you have good connections, you will definitely find a team. So in the end, i only have myself to blame cause i suck so much at socialising. Oh well.. At most i go the "matchmaking", getting into some shitass group and work my ass off.

I think it's really dumb of me to actually try to do something. Cause of what i did last week, i couldn't concentrate after that. Though i know it's impossible, but i still wanna take a gamble cause a little part of me still clinch onto that tiny bit of hope. Zzzz.. This sucks so much cause it's not like how i usually do things.

Oh yea.. I saw some ch8 pragramme yesterday which show celebrity going to those poor people's house to help out etc. It's kind of sad that the girl became like this due to a fever which she had when she was 21. Man.. If i ever become handicapped or whatsoever, i'm pretty sure i don't wanna live in this world anymore. I hate being a burden and live the rest of my life suffering. So, why bother living if you have no chance of accomplishing something anymore?

Damn.. I feel really crappy and i don't really know why. I can't just feel positive about everything like i did last semester. Instead, whatever i do, i will just have negative feeling towards it. >.>

What.ever